More of the same
I haven't posted here in quite a while, but that doesn't mean that I've been goofing off. Well, I may have been goofing off a little bit, but in reality, I've had a pretty full plate. Back in July, I had an Atrial Fibrillation or uncontrolled heartbeat which landed me in the hospital for a week.
I had never had any health problems in my life and other than self inflicted damage, broken bones, cuts requiring stitches etc, and externally inflicted damage, broken bones, stab wounds, gunshot wounds etc.) I have never spent any time in a hospital. So to be cooped up in a bed with wires attached to me, unable to move to the left or right without setting off some idiot alarm, it was to be kind, a trying experience.
Once out of the hospital, I found a new way to spend my time. Visiting the doctor. Now once you have an 'episode' where they can get their hooks into you, it's unlikely that they will ever let you go. Of course, they are very busy so when they tell you that they want to see you as SOON as you get out of the hospital, what they mean is sometime in the next 6 to 8 weeks. But once you DO get your appointment, you can be sure that they will give you every test ever devised to check every orifice, vein, artery, kidney, internal organs, blood, urine and any other fluid or piece of meat that they can think of.
Any naturally, after 60 years of living here on planet earth, you KNOW that they are going to find all sorts of nasty things inside you. Arteries that have cholesterol buildup, sugar levels that are just a wee bit too high, excess weight that you didn't have in high school, blood pressure high enough to launch a shuttle mission and the list goes on. Oh, and if you tell them that you feel fine, it's like an insult to them. They know you're faking because for crying out loud, you haven't visited a doctor in over 30 years so what they hell do you know anyway? We have DEGREES IN MEDICINE! WE'RE SMARTER THAN YOU AND WE KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!
So you begin your future life on one pill for this, one for that, two for the other thing. I submitted like the chicken shit that I am and even broke down and purchased those little pill cases that have the days of the week lettered on them to remind us old folks what day it is and what meds we should be tossing down our gulletts.
I loaded them up and then promptly forgot to take anything for the next 3 days. I finally got back on track and began my meds with a religious fervor. Despite the fact that the BP meds made me feel thick and gooey, I kept up with them and now I"m hopelessly addicted to them. I"m sure that should I miss a dose, I'll simply turn bright red and fly into the troposphere at Mach 3, trailing my innards out the most convenient orifice available.
And throughout it all, the weaselly politicians, the radical leftists and the unbelievably incompetent administration chugs along as if we have all the time in the world. My slight brush with mortality has made me realize that I may not live long enough to see this country return to any semblance of sanity and freedom.
It's a shame really. I'm forced to reminisce about the 'good old days' much the same way that my Grandfather did when he'd expound on how great it was to buy a loaf of bread for a nickle or a new car for $600.00.
The doctor told me that if I do everything he says, I'll live another 40 years. I'm pretty sure that I'd rather take 15 clean ones on the outside than 40 in his office 4X a week, but more so, I'll look forward to the 40 if I can just convince myself that this country won't look like North Korea by then.
Hope I brought some cheer to you all. Remember, get regular medical checkups, look both ways when crossing, don't drink and drive, wear a condom (two if you're a liberal) and brush after meals.
 |
| Atrial Fibrillation will ruin a nice cheese sandwich. |
I had never had any health problems in my life and other than self inflicted damage, broken bones, cuts requiring stitches etc, and externally inflicted damage, broken bones, stab wounds, gunshot wounds etc.) I have never spent any time in a hospital. So to be cooped up in a bed with wires attached to me, unable to move to the left or right without setting off some idiot alarm, it was to be kind, a trying experience.
Once out of the hospital, I found a new way to spend my time. Visiting the doctor. Now once you have an 'episode' where they can get their hooks into you, it's unlikely that they will ever let you go. Of course, they are very busy so when they tell you that they want to see you as SOON as you get out of the hospital, what they mean is sometime in the next 6 to 8 weeks. But once you DO get your appointment, you can be sure that they will give you every test ever devised to check every orifice, vein, artery, kidney, internal organs, blood, urine and any other fluid or piece of meat that they can think of.
Any naturally, after 60 years of living here on planet earth, you KNOW that they are going to find all sorts of nasty things inside you. Arteries that have cholesterol buildup, sugar levels that are just a wee bit too high, excess weight that you didn't have in high school, blood pressure high enough to launch a shuttle mission and the list goes on. Oh, and if you tell them that you feel fine, it's like an insult to them. They know you're faking because for crying out loud, you haven't visited a doctor in over 30 years so what they hell do you know anyway? We have DEGREES IN MEDICINE! WE'RE SMARTER THAN YOU AND WE KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!
So you begin your future life on one pill for this, one for that, two for the other thing. I submitted like the chicken shit that I am and even broke down and purchased those little pill cases that have the days of the week lettered on them to remind us old folks what day it is and what meds we should be tossing down our gulletts.
 |
| At some point, even lettering the days won't help. |
I loaded them up and then promptly forgot to take anything for the next 3 days. I finally got back on track and began my meds with a religious fervor. Despite the fact that the BP meds made me feel thick and gooey, I kept up with them and now I"m hopelessly addicted to them. I"m sure that should I miss a dose, I'll simply turn bright red and fly into the troposphere at Mach 3, trailing my innards out the most convenient orifice available.
And throughout it all, the weaselly politicians, the radical leftists and the unbelievably incompetent administration chugs along as if we have all the time in the world. My slight brush with mortality has made me realize that I may not live long enough to see this country return to any semblance of sanity and freedom.
 |
| No matter what the Era, the image on the left will always result in the image on the right. |
It's a shame really. I'm forced to reminisce about the 'good old days' much the same way that my Grandfather did when he'd expound on how great it was to buy a loaf of bread for a nickle or a new car for $600.00.
The doctor told me that if I do everything he says, I'll live another 40 years. I'm pretty sure that I'd rather take 15 clean ones on the outside than 40 in his office 4X a week, but more so, I'll look forward to the 40 if I can just convince myself that this country won't look like North Korea by then.
Hope I brought some cheer to you all. Remember, get regular medical checkups, look both ways when crossing, don't drink and drive, wear a condom (two if you're a liberal) and brush after meals.
posted by Jim Harvey at 8:46 PM
1 Comments:
I was diagnosed with AFib about the same time as you. Heart racing at 150 BPM everyday. Kept it under control with meds for several years and then a Loop inserted in my chest to record my episodes. Finally the inevitable happened. A Stroke which left me half blind and some other pain in the he ass disabilities. Four months later after lots of rehab the vision returned and most of my motor skills. My second stroke two years later damaged my right optic nerve.it will never be the same. AFib returns and then my heart slows down to 35 BPM so a pacemaker put in and an Ablation for the returning AFib. Now Vascular Dementia tops the bill with a life expectancy of five more years. I'm glad you made it through your problem my friend and wish you good health from now until your clock stops.
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